Anothersarahmomentforyou.

sometimes i stumble upon uh... sights... which are just downright discouraging till the point it tears my heart up or just stabs its old wounds once more. and i feel like never going there again. (but i keep doing so for some stupid reason. still having difficulty cutting out stuff) and i wonder if this is the start of shutting out the world and living in my own little make-believe perfect world. and then i think to myself, it isn't make believe. its just the other side of the world which i choose to surround myself with. just like how the other OTHER people from their other OTHER side of the world chooses NOT to surround themselves with the parts from mine.

i just hate it when people talk like they're sooooo experienced in the big bad world and that they're the ones with the better knowledge of life thus they're allowed to say there's no such thing as hope and everything else good that's left coz all you see is an illusion and the rest is left to the movies. this world is a lie blablabla you sorry souls.

like that i can also say that they're the ones living in complete oblivion to the grace of God and the goodness that still prevails (and IS growing) on this very same planet we share isn't it?
Bah.

and you dare call me ignorant. you twerps.

sigh. i know i promised never to blog bad on this one. but i'm upset thats all. from a reminder i just got from somewhere that makes me realize my process is taking loooooong. and almost every moment of it is painful. and i wish i could just forget as one easily blinks an eye. i wish it just ceased to matter suddenly. like every existence of such a past just never.... existed!

in moments like these...

i absolutely hate the fact that i'm (apparentely) such a "people-person".

i hate it hate it hate it.

coz if i wasn't, i wouldn't care at all.


boy am i looking forward to the day i will look back on this one season of my life and laugh at how small it is/ was compared to whats ahead.

itwillcomeitwillcomeitwillcomeitwillcomeitwillcome. i know it will lah. i've said a big goodbye before and i CAN do it again. i will.