I'VE MOVED...

HERE. 

I'm sorry! I've lost count of how many times I've switched blogs myself. But this should be it lah. For the rest of my life. So please re-link me. Thanks! 

love you!

A Bite of Experience.

HELLO!!!!! 

....To anyone who is still faithfully checking this blog to see if I've really died or not. 

I was gonna wait till I start a new blog. Yes again. But as we learned in Journalism 101, news isn't news if its not FRESSSHHHH. Hence, I will blog here anyway. Without pictures I warn you. 

ITS MY FIRST WEEK OF UNI!!!!! Oh yes and I AM in Melbourne if any of you are wondering where I disappeared to suddenly and silently like the fox on the night of the fool moon. Don't correct that. The story of how I ended up here from where I started out is indeed a testimony of how incredibly AMAZING beyond WORDS God is! I mean, I never imagined this would happen!

But anyways. I have newer stories than that. So if you're really interested, you can always ask me and I'll fill you in another time. 

Back to Uni. I'mdoingaBachelorofArtsmajoringinSociologyandyesIchangedcourseasIgraduatedwitha

DiplomainMassCommpriortocominghere. So now you know. I have four subjects this semester (they call them units here) which are: 

• Intro to Sociology 
  
• Intro to Philosophy
  
• History of Ideas....and.... 
• Intercultural Communications.  

I absolutely LOVE my units! I came here with a ton of worries that I may not be smart enough for Uni or I may end up as that stereotyped little asian girl in the corner of the classroom who has no clue of what on earth goes on in class. I even thought I'd be friendless for the whole semester! But God is good to me and I'm just a silly worry wart coz this week has been fantastic! 

Even though its just been a week of introduction to the topics we're gonna cover, I found that the ideas that we discuss in each of the classes are things that I have always loved daydreaming about and unfortunately was never quite appreciated by the majority of the people I was surrounded with back home. But now... wow. There exists a whole lecture hall of students around my age who crave such knowledge as well! I love the learning environment here, everyone's just really independent and sensible and really wanting to learn. Its so different from high school and college and I half wish that I just came straight to Uni after homeschooling coz it would have saved me a lot of unnecessary drama. I finally feel at home here. Like I fit in and I'm not the weird "deep/emo" one anymore coz it seems that what's considered "deep/emo" back where I come from, is completely normal over here! 

The cool but slightly daunting bit is that we don't have exams in our course for this sem. So everything is an essay, a presentation, or a reflective journal. Which is heaps better coz we'd really get something outta it but that also means no crapping my way through like how I did in college. Shh. Don't tell my mom. The quality of education here is 100 times better than I've ever experienced la. Best part is, I don't feel as intimidated as I thought I would because no one judges. It is such a relief to be part of a community that lets you be you at your level and applauds you when you excel. I realize I picked up a lot of negative and judgmental habits from the learning environment back home that I have to quit if I'm ever going to experience new things. 

Yes I still have my "lah's" even though I make the effort to form my sentences properly over here. I've gotten comments like,"wow you're English is pretty good!" and I'm like,"Uh.. coz its the only language I've ever known to speak?" 

Today in the Intercultural Comm tute, we had everyone take turns to tell the class a bit about their ethnic background and experience with diverse culture. It was so interesting really. We had a girl from Denmark who grew up in the U.S, a girl who's parents were directly from China but moved to Malaysia and made her in Australia. Haha. Another girl lived in Australia her whole life but takes frequent trips to see her mom who lives in Istanbul. And another girl who's from Japan. And then there's Christina Soh and I who are both from Malaysia but even then we're different because I hardly know much about the Chinese culture and my mom is Singaporean Chindian which also contributes to the fact that we were brought up to speak proper English (as proper as my mom could insist on. hahaha) and we eat more Indian food than Chinese food because dad's always away traveling and he's the only real 'Chinaman' in our family. 

I have never said so much about my family's cultural background before! I think coming from a country like Malaysia that's so diverse in culture, we just take these things forgranted sometimes and don't think much about it till we're actually asked for an explanation. I also realized we're real special being Malaysians for that same reason because it really is so much easier to adapt to all sorts of other cultures around us. I pulled out a few experiences from my trips to Indonesia and Thailand for story-telling-sake, but truth be told, I really did feel quite at home when I was there. Very much like how I do over here. (Echoing the promo video of The Plan '09 conference that's on next month in Melaka... "Malaysians DO make GREAT missionaries!!!" Our upbringing is cross-cultural training itself and I really suggest that we think good and hard about such a "coincidence" and the reason for it. Hmm?) 

I live in a little suburb called Hawthorn which is little but bustling with activity because its only 15 minutes away from the city. Hawthorn is perfect. All the shops are stretched along one main road, that's Glenferrie Road and is only 15 minutes-walk from my house. That includes the train station, the bank, the cafe's, the grocers, the post office, the boutiques, the library and bookshops, all sorts. My Uni is just a 10-minute walk from my house so I come home frequently between classes to cook lunch for myself and sometimes for a friend if I make one that day. =) 

I've been here for a month already and its been good although I did have to get used to the slight change of lifestyle here though. Lots of walking, toughing out the cold weather, hand-carrying heavy groceries home myself, relying on public transport. Stuff like that. The public transport system here is SO impressive. So no complaints. Just that its a little sad knowing I won't get to drive for 2 and a half years. 

Okay. I have to go. Class is in 25 minutes and I don't wanna run there with a stomach full of meatballs. The weather is lovely today and its calling out for a good stroll. I will story you on church and other things when I next decide to blog. Whenever that will be. 

Happy Friday and don't throw food at people. It's rude. 

CAMPORAMA 2009!!!!!

3 hours to bus departure at 8:00am...

Yes. We still look fabulous in our RR skins... 

AND WE'RE TOTALLY PSYCHED!!!!!

Once a Ranger, always a Ranger baby!!!

5 days of FUN, SUN, and Chappati...*say it with an Indian accent*

.... HERE WE COME!!!

WAAAAAAAHHHHHHooooooooOOOOOOooo!!!!!

growing pains.

I feel like I just did the stupidest thing in my entire life. 

Really. Nothing beats this one. 

I really cannot think of any sane person who would choose to give away what they finally have after wanting it for SO long. 

Only insane people do that la. 

What is wrong with me? 

I just want to cry la. Cry it all away. 

But as always, tears are so pointless. 

Talking to people is so pointless. 

I am sick of hearing opinions. 

I valued them. But I've really had enough. 

It's true. 

The right decisions are ALWAYS the TOUGHEST to make. 

and living by honesty in a dishonest world is very hard.

You can never take back your words. You have to live by it once it is said. 

That's what growing up means. Making decisions for yourself and sticking to it. 

I'm finally growing up. 

and it hurts. 

In The Making...

Proverbs 31:25-26 & 29

Strength and dignity are her clothing, 

and she laughs at time to come. 

She opens her mouth with wisdom, 

and the teachings of kindness

is on her tongue. 

Many women have done excellently, 

but you surpass them all. 

Awholebundleofthoughts.

And thus I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else's foundation, but as it is written... 

Those who have never been told of Him will see, 

and those who have never heard, will understand. 

Romans 15:20-21

I ask myself, why are we not having the same ambition as the apostle Paul had when he made that statement? There is a verse elsewhere in the bible that says (something along the lines of) it is easy to love those who love you, so what good is that? But it is when you love those who hate you, then you can say you have truly loved. In the same manner, I often ask myself, how much am I really doing to make Him known? How much of a blessing am I REALLY being to the people around me? Who are the poor and NEEDy, and if they're not where I am, what on earth am I still doing here? 

Today I thought of our favorite "naan man" (I can't even remember if he was Pakistani, Bangladeshi, or Sri Lankan) who has watched my siblings and I grow up because we ate at wherever he worked for the past 7 plus years. The last I remember of him was when dad asked if any of his family members were affected by the Tsunami. Where is he now? Who will tell him that Jesus loves him? 

Then there's our favorite Uncle Frankie who sells Chee Chong Fun at the hawker stall behind my house. He too, has watched the three of us grow up. Sam has been his regular customer since he was age seven, and still is. (Sam is 17 this year). The closest we ever got to talking to him was to find out his name, small talk about his trip to China to visit his son, and of how good Sam's UPSR results were. (He gave Sam a free meal that day for his 4A's) Zoe once wrote an article about him for the One Eighty magazine, telling of how people like him make her smile, of how much a blessing he is even though just he may play just a small part of her life. But what about him? What have we blessed him with in return? Why haven't we told him of a life fulfilled in Christ? 

They are only two out of the many people whom we have been given chances of numerous encounters with. 

I remember growing up as a teenage homeschooler during the days of the youth rally hype, I never had any "non-believer" friends to invite for events like those, and I envied those who did. Funny thing is, those who did, never did invite them! I could never understand, till one day I myself became part of that world. The world where you're surrounded by SO MUCH NEED... but yet we choose to remain in our comfort zones, oblivious to the need around us. Life is just right, just nice, and sometimes a challenge in personal matters, all in our own little world that exists in our own little minds. 

But I have tried. And sometimes it comes to a point where, I don't know what else can be done. Maybe that's how most of us are feeling at least. Despair and discouragement causes us to shut up. Fear grips us from inside, keeping us in this illusion that its OKAY to live a mediocre "unfreakishly religious" life as long as we pay our tithes, go for a mission trip or two per year, donate to charity, attend service every Sunday, and write encouraging cards to our already-Christian friends. 

I do not ask that we live religiously. In fact I long for the exact opposite. I desire to live a life that is SO MUCH MORE than all I listed above. (It isn't bad. It's just lacking) I believe many of us have been unaware of who we truly are as sons and daughters of The King. Like John Bevere says, there is power within every one of God's people, it has just been left lying dormant inside us. And we need to stir it up! Stir up that power to live beyond the natural! (WE need to STIR it up = US taking ACTION. Our part to play in the "hand clapping" with God - It takes two hands to clap theory) 

It makes sense more and more now, that saying I heard recently... 

"We say that we place God first in our lives. But really, who are we to even give God a number? Whether its "1st" or "2nd"? Who are we to have control over the hierarchy of priority in our lives? Does that not mean that we are still holding on to our lives? Still remaining in the final position of authority of our lives? What happened to fully surrendering to God? It isn't about making God first on the list of life's priorities, its about recognizing that He IS the very centre of our being. Where we, and everything within and around us, revolve around Him." 

True life in Christ is no bento box of deeds. True life in Christ is the very reason for our being, our existence, our function. And the bible says, we were created to worship Him. Worship through living. Worship through breathing. Worship through our friendships. Worship through our thoughts. Worship through our decisions. Worship through our family relationships. Worship through our role in the workplace. Worship through our circumstances. Worship through our sorrows and joys. Worship through our dreams, desires, and ambitions. Worship through life. 

"God in my living, God in my breathing

God in my watching, God in my waiting

God in my laughing, there with me dancing

God in my hoping, God in my weeping... 

Christ in me, the hope of glory

Be my everything..." 

- Tim Hughes, Everything. 

Back to the subject of living MORE. Of being relevant to the world in need around me. The world in need around us...

Today, while catching up with Ps. Kenneth and Sandra Chin of Asian Youth Ambassadors, they were telling me what the "Revo tour" is all about and the focus of their school/ uni ministries. Kenneth mentioned that many times, young people have so much to share with those around them, so much to offer to the world what Christ has placed within their hearts... but we're often lost as to how to go about it, what to do exactly. Its courage that we lack. Its enCOURAGEment that we need. And that's what they're passionate about giving. 

For a split second, I was tempted to be part of that too. But the very reason why I was there chatting with them was because I had already gotten myself involved with too many things... some even outside of my scope. (But its a new learning experience! So no matter. =) 

I know I lack courage. Heck, I can't even complete a sentence telling of my faith to some of my own already-Christian peers without stammering just coz I fear their resistance to the difference in our beliefs! (yes, it is always remarkably astounding to find that two people who claim to have the same faith, somehow cannot agree on the same principles of life) 

I know I lack courage and I know I am tired of being this way. I am tired of trying to mask my passion for Christ. I am tired of trying to reconstruct my sentences in such a way where people won't think I'm some religious nut. (which I'm not, if you actually think about it. Christians aren't supposed to be in the business of being religious) I am tired of trying to hide the fact that I DON'T fit in with a lot of society's norms. I am tired of trying to be someone whom I'm not. 

And so my prayer continues to be, more than ever before, that God would give me courage. More than that actually. My prayer is that God would enable me to walk, march, run, dance, LIVE in a life of victory because of who HE is IN me. I know He is always speaking, and so I told Him I want to be able to recognize His voice. 

A lot of things have actually been put in place already. You can't hide from the truth. It is there whether you like it or not. And by recognizing it, and believing in it, will you then be set free. I know that just as we were created to worship Him, that being our function means that when we just simply truly fully live worshipping Him, our lives will be SO fulfilled, so full of Him... that everything else comes naturally. When we recognize and come to KNOW the face of our God, the truth of His very being - Love, goodness, mercy... living in that knowledge is what enables us to be fully who we were created to be - naturally making us relevant to the world in need around us. 

That prayer is my heart's cry not just for myself, but for my generation. My peers, my church, my nation, my world... and you. And I know He hears me, and IS answering it even now. I want more. I need more. We all need more of Him. 

Heartset Willpower.

You can't eat meat that hasn't been cooked, no matter how hungry you are. It just won't be good for you. 

You can't celebrate your graduation in a gown, when you're not even halfway through uni, it won't mean anything. 

You can't climb Mt. Kinabalu, without months of training to build stamina, you'll suffer half way. 

You can't do a lot of things NOW if you're not ready, if the time isn't right, because doing it anyway will result badly. It'll ruin you, and the people around you. 

And I don't want a ruined future. I want the future that I was born for. The one that's been orchestrated by God alone, with hope, with prosperity, and fruitfulness. The kind that is made simply irreplaceably beautiful in His Time. Not mine. I want to be fully ready to embrace it in confidence and with open arms it when it comes. 

It's the journey that determines the value of the destination. It's the journey that matters. 

And I will do everything I can to obtain that future and claim it as mine, no matter how tough it is. Even if I have to... just. wait. 

I WILL wait.

Patiently, actively, and with fullness of life.

 

Yes, anything is possible if you put your mind and heart to it.